You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
