Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
