so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
