If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
