they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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