I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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