Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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