I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
