Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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