im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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