walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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