I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
