Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
