he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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