Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
