you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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