Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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