I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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