I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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