i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
