Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
