Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
