Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
