He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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