just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
