Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
