I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
