i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize