conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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