I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
