I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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