Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
