I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
