I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
