This is not my ceiling
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
