Don't you send me to vm
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
