get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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