I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
