Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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