I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
