Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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