I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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