Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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