Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
