I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize