I think I just saw someone hide a body.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
