singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
