wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
