So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
