i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
