Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
