how can u be prego again
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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