I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
