You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize