he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
