So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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