no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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