Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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