Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
