What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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