I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
