she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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