talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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