You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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