I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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