You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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