You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
