im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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