Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
