i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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