Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
