yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
