If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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