Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
