I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
