Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
