Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
